高下立見(1451)

我逛圖書館總喜歡在書架前東看看西望望, 不願意坐定定。今天在唐宋詞的書架前又「磨」了足足一小時, 腳都倦了。感覺都是一些熟口熟面的書本, 正想離開之際, 眼前一亮, 竟被兩本書吸引了視線, 當下細心撫弄, 果然有點得著。

聲聲慢 (李清照)
　　

尋尋覓覓，冷冷清清，凄凄慘慘戚戚。
　　乍暖還寒時候，最難將息。
　　三杯兩盞淡酒，怎敵他、晚來風急？
　　雁過也，正傷心，卻是舊時相識。
　　
　　滿地黃花堆積。憔悴損，如今有誰堪摘？
　　守著窗儿，獨自怎生得黑？
　　梧桐更兼細雨，到黃昏、點點滴滴。
　　這次第，怎一個、愁字了得！

其一是曾希邦譯的《英譯唐宋詞二十六首》如下：

Boredom

Tonal Pettern: Sheng Sheng Man

By Li Qingzhao (1084-1151)

I search and fumble, I feel lonely and low, And I am sad and miserable.

It’s not easy to keep myself fit,

When the weather is warm this moment and cold the next.

Two or three cups of wine won’t keep me warm,

Against the chilly wind in the evening

Wild geese fly past, They remind me of something sad.

But, after all, I’ve seen them before.

The Petals of chrysanthemum are piled up on the ground,

Faded and frail, there they lie,

Who would pick them up now?

By the window I sit,

How can I sit there all by myself till dark?

In the evening it drizzles,

The rain-drops fall on the leaves of the parasol tree

Making a drip-drop sound,

A simple word such as sorrow is not good enough

To express my melancholy.

其二是許淵沖譯的《精選宋詞與宋畫》如下：

Tune: Slow Slow Song

-          Li Qingzhao

I look for what I miss, I know not what it is.

I feel so sad, so drear, so lonely, without cheer.

How hard is it to keep me fit in this lingering cold!

Hardly warmed up by cup on cup of wine so dry, oh,

How can I endure the drift of evening wind so swift?

It breaks my heart, alas!

To see the wind geese pass for they are my acquaintances of old.

The ground is covered with yellow flowers,

Faded and fallen in showers.

Who will pick them up now?

Sitting alone at the window,

How could I but quicken the pace of darkness that won’t thicken?

On the plane leaves a fine rain drizzles as twilight grizzles.

Oh, what can I do with a grief beyond belief!

大家都知道, 將優美的宋詞譯成英文本身就是一個 impossible dream, 因此二者比較只是「誰譯得沒那麼差」的分別。

我的中英文「有一定水準」, 換句話說即是「只有一般水準」, 二者究竟更佳, 是否可以看出來呢? 

我細心品味後, 個人認為, 二者高下立見！

你的看法又如何呢?